Ever feel like your path to spiritual growth is like trekking through the jungle on an episode of Naked and Afraid? Some days the path is clear but often it is full of thick brush and buzzing bugs. Peace feels like it’s unreachable. In the midst of the struggle, I find it challenging to listen to the voice that loves me. Worse yet, when I’m on the clear path, I stop listening because, let’s face it… clearly, I’ve got this!
I eventually came to realize that my spiritual growth had become just another goal. As I was slogging through it, I found myself asking, am I good enough for you God? There it was, the message I often hear that drives me to do more, and drive for success, but not mindfully…. and not with love.
In order to embrace my journey, I had to decide to stop comparing. Comparing myself to the outcome of my goals, to others on their path, to those I see as enlightened and yes, to Oprah. This is my journey and I’m going to get scraped and dirty, learn about myself, learn about others and my relationships with them, and with grace, strengthen my relationships here on earth and with God, while in that journey. It’s mine and to hold it close to my heart means to be here.
Here’s what that looks like for me. What does it look like for you?
I can listen. I can spend time listening to the rhythm of what’s going on around and inside of me. This is not about what I’m hearing. Its about what I’m listening to. Am I listening to the voice that says be careful, second guess that, don’t trust that, … or, am I listening to the voice that says, with love, you’ve got this!
I can trust. Trust that the little things – decisions, interactions, movement, stillness, a step forward, a step back – are meant to be part of the bigger life, and that its okay not to know how. Much like a ripple in the pond…. you toss a stone into the water and from the place where the stone enters the water, you may not be able to see what the last ripple affected. For certain there is an impact, just trust that if you are listening on the inside to the voice of love, that ripple will have a good outcome.
I can follow. Follow God’s voice, to know what’s best for me when I’m not sure that I know. Make no mistake, there are times when I’ve told Him that He is out of His ever-loving mind! I’ve argued. I’ve resisted. I’ve shut the mental door, and said talk to the hand, and I’ve found that it’s okay as long as I’m having the conversation. Eventually, I’ll come to understand why and if I don’t understand, have learned that I just need to trust that voice. It’s not failed me, not once, and the ripples I’ve witnessed were inspiring and so very full of love.
I can notice Me. I’ve found that it’s best to give myself moments to slow down and know that unless the task I’m so hurriedly driving to give attention to, is going to save a life or solve a worldly problem, it can wait. What gifts do I see in that moment? What am I feeling? What do I acknowledge in myself? Look for your gifts and then go back to the task and share the gift!
There’s no right or wrong way to be here. There’s only your way. Accept you, where you are, and your gifts in this time of your life. Embrace those gifts and then give them away. Your stone, your ripple, this world, Be Here.
With love, Tara.